Palative Potables - Bitter Defeat

War of 1812 - Battle of New Orleans

    Sometimes ignomonious defeat comes with its own reward.  As you choke down the bitter pill of loss, it is important to remember that you don't have to choke it down alone - you could be sputtering and swallowing it with a few good dashes of booze.

This Palative Potable isn't to make you feel better, it's to help you wallow in the stinking pit of losing.  It's to make you take it all in a little more, just in case there were some details of getting whipped you might have forgotten.



Palative Potable - Bitter Defeat

1 oz Vodka
1 oz Dubonnet Blanc
1/2 oz Dry Vermouth
2-3 dashes Peychaud's Bitters
2-3 dashes Angustura Bitters

This drink has a designed hole in it.  There is no finishing burn, no end to the taste - it starts off as a dry knuckle, and pulls back before delivering the whole punch.  Don't expect to feel satisfied at the end of the bitter defeat, expect to feel robbed.  It isn't even bitter enough to deserve the name, but it's just bitter enough to not be in any other category.

Bubbly Cocktails

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A glass of champagne gives you a feeling unlike any other beverage in your hand.  It is full of potential, full of airiness, and full of energy.  Whether you are enjoying a mimosa in the morning with friends, or celebrating an important event with a loved one, a glass of bubbly can liven things up in a way no other drink can.  Take a look at the Three Sheets episode on champagne.

I remember reading somewhere that it was too bad that champagne in America is only consumed on special occasions and for particular celebrations like New Year's Eve, and I agree with that.  A bottle of champagne is a perfect companion to many evenings, and can certainly be to good effect on almost any night when a few people gather.

I've never been a mimosa drinker - usually when it's mimosa time for others, I feel the orange juice is way too thick for my stomach.  Often for me, mimosas have been the staple for a morning after a long night of drinking, so I am in favor of a light drink that doesn't linger.  Suffice it to say I am no orangeman.


To circumvent the problem I have with orange juice in a cocktail in the morning, here's my take on a champagne cocktail with orange:



Orange Angelus
1/2 oz cognac
3/4 oz contreau
1/2 oz lemon juice
1/2 oz vodka
1 dash orange bitters
Champagne



Combine everything but champagne and stir.  Add champagne and sip, sip, sip.  The orange flavor comes out strongest from the bitters on the nose, but you can feel the warmth of the vodka for the finish fighting with the classic tickling of a sip of champagne.

Instead of the cognac and contreau, I use this French brand of orange liqueur and cognac that comes at 40% abv.  If you're doing that, find a comfortable ratio - for me it's 1oz "La Belle Orange" instead of the cognac and contreau.  Also, many champagne cocktails you will find will have some sweetener in them, I don't like sweet cocktails, so this is not sweet.  If you would like a sweeter cocktail, add 1/2-3/4 oz simple syrup.

Mustard Slap

When I taste a new cocktail, liquor, or wine, there are always a bunch of different things that go through my mind.  I've never bought into the whole arrogant, dismissive vibe that a lot of oenophiles and cocktail enthusiasts and douches seem to like - that anything you are imbibing for the first time must inherently be worse than what you've already encountered.  Instead, the three things that often go through my mind as a checklist of the quality of the potable are:

1. If I got really really drunk on this shit, and this alone, what would it be like?  Do I need to have an especially large/heavy/small/carnivorous meal before I imbibe it in order to appreciate it the most?
2. How big is the quality gap between the Nicolai and the Grey Goose, the Pépe and the Patrón, for this particular spirit?  I bought a bottle (or two) of "Hawkeye" bourbon in Iowa earlier this year - it's 80% grain neutral and 20% 36 month-old whiskey.  I sit it right next to my W.L. Weller to keep me honest in my taste assessment.
3. What would this mix well with?  What would it utterly fail with? When can I try it out?

Patrón

Pépe

With that in mind, I ask you to consider this new addition to my cocktail repertoire, the Mustard Slap.

Born out of a desire to have a powerful cocktail taste like a powerful cocktail without any alcohol taste at the end, I chose the ever-effervescent absinthe to mix with a "perfect" vermouth combo.  It has an abrasive opening taste, but fades quickly from the mouth, leaving you wondering if you got the taste quite right.


Mustard Slap
1 1/2 oz Bourbon
1 1/2 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Sweet Vermouth
1/2 oz Dry Vermouth
3/4 oz Absinthe
Juice of half a Lemon (1 oz)

Shake and strain into a rocks glass.  Garnish with a lemon rind lightly coated in spicy brown mustard.  Alternately if you don't have a fresh lemon, just drop a tiny ball of mustard into the glass - be aware it's ugly, and don't drink it at the end :-)

Satanic Cocktails, Diabolo Part I - Orgeat

It always slightly embarrasses me when I think an ingredient I've been reading about but have never used is something totally different than it ends up being.  I'd always had this nebulous impression that orgeat was just another orange flavored liqueur, but with some kind of nutty twist.

Well, after I promised that the next Satanic Cocktail would be the Diabolo, I was a little chagrined to be unable to locate orgeat at any local liquor establishments, or in the supermarket.  Four or five online recipes later, I was not at all excited about the idea of steeping crushed almonds in hot water for hours on end.  So I put off the Diabolo.

That is, until my mom asked me if I had any need for the organic almond butter she'd just gotten for my dad.  So now I had the impetus to make some orgeat without the tired process of steeping and draining.  What follows is my first attempt at making some orgeat liqueur. 


Redface's Orgeat Liqueur #1

2 cups water
2/3 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup organic almond butter
4 oz Vodka
2 oz Brandy

Heat 1 cup water to boil, add the sugar and reduce heat  Once sugar is fully mixed, add almond butter.  Simmer, adding 1/3 cup water every 15 minutes for 45 minutes.  Remove from heat and let cool 30 minutes.  Add vodka and brandy, strain thoroughly (and repeatedly).

The taste was quite surprising in the end.  I opted for vodka and brandy to minimize the possibility of brandy taste overpowering almond.  Probably could have added only brandy, but the result was satisfying.   With a mild but persistent almond flavor, the orgeat didn't overpower the taste buds, but certainly has a distinct profile.

I also saved the leftover almond butter mixture.  It tasted smooth, with a distinct alcohol aftertaste.  It seemed like something I should try on crackers or something with a drink.  

Coming next - Bringing together the Diabolo Cocktail, and a Redfacery take on the recipe.

Dalliance with Sweet Tea Vodka

I know what you're thinking - has Redface lost it?  Would you dilly or dally with sweet tea vodka or any other in the family for that matter?  Hell no!  But, you do what you need when you need a cool drink- and you innovate for what whets the throat.

Without further ado:

Triple-Half-and-Half
2 oz Spiced Rum
2 oz Sweet Tea vodka
1 oz Vodka
3 Dashes Angostura Orange Bitters
Fresh Lemonade


Fill shaker halfway with fresh ice, add Rum, Vodkas, Bitters, and Lemonade.  Shake, pour into Collins glass with a few more fresh cubes.  Use cask strength spiced rum here, and go lighter on the sweet tea rather than the typical heavy-handed 2 oz pour.  The vodka is there to dilute the sweetness of the sweet tea vodka.  Be generous as hell with the bitters.












This drink, when made right, manages to balance the sweetness and pack quite a punch.  Warning also, no powdered lemonade mix, and be aware that you'll get a gross back-of-the-throat stickiness if you don't use enough bitters or you use too much sweet tea.